Top 5 Fake Kenya SEO Gurus in 2014

Can you do SEO in Kenya for me, please, pretty please? Yes, I can I am the original Kenya SEO expert. Look at me I’m number 15 for the keyword “how to lie your way into an internet marketing job getting free ksh. 10 per month, doing harm to your client”.

No, I just didn’t say that, did I?

Long ago, very long ago. Actually 3 years ago the term SEO in Kenya was none existent. Its sort of saying that Manchester United will not win a single trophy for the next 6 years kind of thing.  The problem was even the thought of a website as a marketing tool did not occur to the businessmen in Kenya.  “Come on Alex, what is this internet thing you are talking about? I can’t even afford a computer, how can my client go to the internet?”

That was way before some guys called Safaricon started pushing some phones that would go to a place called Facebook. And before you could say, Bob’s your uncle, every human being within the boundaries of Kenya was on Facebook. The business people discovered that their competitors were making a killing starting groups on Facebook like Soko Kuu, Soko huru and every other type of Soko you could think of.

Ok ok, now I need a website.  How much is a website? What! I have my friend who can build for me a website for ksh. 10k ($120). You are too expensive!

Fast forward 3 years later and every Tom, Dick and Otieno who built a website 4 years ago will be the first one to tell you that websites don’t make money. They have never received a single email from their website. In fact its easier for them to imagine becoming Governor of Machakos than ever making a single lead from their site.

Then Came SEO Experts in Kenya

The reason you are not making any sales sir is because you are not ranking your website. Ranking means that you are not in the top 10 in Google searches. You see if you are not ranked in the top 10, your potential clients will not see your products. Yes, I can make you number 1 on Google. Yes, I have been doing it since I was born. I’m so good, I’m even ranking number one for my name. Just Google, “I am the best Kenya SEO in the world”. You will see I am number numero uno.

Ok the above statement is not mine but an actual sales pitch.

So all of a sudden Kenyans have moved on from building funny Joomla websites to now being the best SEO in Africa. All in under 2 years and with a huge portfolio of 30 websites that rank between 20 to not in the top 500.

seo in kenya
The SEO in Kenya has a VERY bad Name

It’s a great thing actually as it opens up new marketing channels in Kenya. It is time that small business in Kenya stopped focussing 100% of their sales on footy sales guys knocking on peoples doors.


Unknown markets always bring in the snakes oils salesmen. And boy aren’t they many. Right now if you search for SEO in Kenya, there are no less than 100 companies and individuals offering their superb services. The birth of the Kenya SEO guru has begun and it is not going to let up. I love SEO guys but my favourites are the following 4 gurus.

  1. The student who’s read an ebook and a blog online Kenyan SEO
  2. The web designer who’s expert html skills and colour changes make Google tremble
  3. The corporate SEO and Social Media trainer….Can’t you see how many people I have trained and notice they are all damn big companies in Kenya?
  4. The client…..Ooops!

All these people can do some serious white hat, gray hat, blackhat seo for you. Your problem is choosing which one is “the one”. I’ll help you out a bit..

The Kenyan SEO Student

This particular SEO expert is still in university or just graduated. He has done something to do with IT (honestly what is IT?), computers and is the darling of the college fraternity because he created that college website that only had 2 visitors a day.

He’s excellent on Facebook. You will find him at Soko something or another offering, seo services for 5k per month. Number 1 guaranteed. He has a laptop which is very big and he goes with it everywhere. You will find him at one of the coffee houses using the free wifi and really “coding”.

Heck the guy is cheap. He knows his stuff and can quote to you guys like …..fill in the blanks.

Yes, don’t forget, he’s cheap. Not like that other guy who came here charging us the whole world.

My advice: If you have a Ferrari, do you take it to Grogan or the dealership? Some of us think our businesses are Ferrari. Others don’t. So for each their own.

The Web Designer Cum SEO Expert in Kenya

While the first search engine optimisation guru is ok to me, this one really irks me. This one is behaving like a Gynecologist who wants to be a brain surgeon. Sure the two may have gone to med school, but surely?

Honest web designers in Kenya will tell you that they may know how to change the colours of a website. But the most they know in SEO is “meta tags”. Usually they will finish designing the website then go and put up some meta tags to die for.  I don’t have much time today for examples but a rule of thumb.

If someone opens his mouth and says the words “meta tag”, meta keywords, and 100% guaranteed rankings, RUN!

I’m sorry to say this. There are very great web designers in the world who also happen to be some of the best international seo experts in the world.  But I’ll give you the names of 3 in Kenya only. Now let me go and hide.

The Corporate SEO and Social Media Training Expert

Let me a bit precise in case I’m misquoted.

These are the charlatans our parents used to tell us about.

How can a man or woman who has never built a website, never ranked a website past no. 12, has exactly 340 twitter followers, teach you how to be the best? Sometimes I do believe companies in Kenya have a lot of money. I was actually invited to one such SEO and Social Media training class. There was one problem though. They used spam to get my email.

The modus operandi is simple. Gather 1 million emails from Kenyans. Send them spam about that great 3 day training at some hotel. Then talk about somethings called paying Google PPC is great for SEO. oi! No true SEO spams people. SEO’s hate the word Google. That company makes the world miserable for us.

But heck after your 3 day seminar you are now the SEO expert the world has been dreaming about. In fact, that drink of water from Keringet added a few ounces of SEO speak.

seo in kenya

I’ll be blunt………I love number 1 and 2 more.

The Expert Kenya SEO Client

But perhaps the worst Kenya SEO in 2014 is the client. When you met the fellow, he knew nothing. Two days after “Googling” and going for the seminar above, the fellow is now master tradesman. Some even join the freemasons just because of their expertise.

“Alex, I told you, I want to see the “url” of that picture in the article. Onyango is ranking in that keyword because he has an alt tag”.

Physician heal thyself.

I feel for all the student SEO’s, web designer seo’s, corporate seo’s who have to deal with Mwangi come lately. Man I feel you. Been there too.

Here is a fellow who will single handedly destroy his own business simply because he can.

My advice:  I have none.

2014 – The Year for Internet Marketing in Kenya

Yes, the time has come. Those trying to do more for the marketing industry online, take heart. I predict that by the end of this year, if you stay true to the profession and get rid of the above 4 guys, you can change how marketing in Kenya is done. The fact is, if your business will not incorporate a comprehensive online marketing plan this year, start kissing some of that revenue goodbye.

In the meantime, be sensible and invest in good Kenya SEO guys. They are there. Just search for them as you would search for your business partner. It took time but the rewards were ever lasting.

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